Durable Human (2 book series)

Tag Archives: social emotional skills

Preventing the Phone-Based Childhood: Attention Preschool Parents

Preschool aged child using tablet. Photo by Merrily Pierce

Though it seems little kids everywhere are on hand-held screens, scientists are just catching up with effects that digital devices have on growing minds.

A new study adds to increasing concerns for preschool parents.

Turns out that mobile device use can interfere with how preschool-aged children learn to manage their emotions. The more time on screens, the more a child tends to struggle with anger and frustration.    

“What we seem to be observing is the emergence possibly of a vicious cycle over time.”

That’s the word from Caroline Fitzpatrick, Canada’s research chair on the impact of digital media on children. The work of her team at Quebec’s University of Sherbrooke is in JAMA Pediatrics.

The Canadian Tablet Study

Sherbrooke followed more than 200 preschoolers—checking in on each one at ages 3, 4 and 5.

The more time 3-year-olds spent on mobile devices, the more they were prone to anger and frustration one year later.  

4-year-old device users with anger management issues used screens more as they got older.

“We found that by the age of 5, children with worse emotion regulation skills were spending more time using tablets,” reports Fitzpatrick.

3-year-old device users were most vulnerable to emotional upheaval.   

How Digital Pacifiers Backfire  

Though Fitzpatrick’s team studied only tablet use, she reports, “We can reasonably extrapolate to smartphones because mobile devices and smartphones share a lot of the same features.”   

Fitzpatrick concedes that handing over a device may defuse a blowup in the moment, but her study shows that so-called digital pacifiers make it more difficult for the child in the long run.

“This might not be a good long-term strategy because when children use an external means to regulate their emotions, they’re not provided the opportunity to develop internal strategies for managing their emotions.”

Why Kids Need to Self-regulate

As exhausted new parents can attest, infants cannot control their tempers.  

Normally, though, “emotion management skills evolve very quickly during the preschool years,” explains Fitzpatrick.

Kids need these intrinsic skills to be able to do things like sit down and listen, be patient for short periods, and play with other kids.

When a child is focused on a screen, he or she can miss chances to build emotion skills, such as direct instruction from caregivers and watching how caregivers manage their own emotions.

Tablets Not Seen as Educational

Beyond harms to social-emotional development, mobile devices have little value as teaching tools.  

“There are very few documented educational benefits of having a tablet,” reports Fitzpatrick.  

For preschool parents concerned their kids won’t have technical skills without a digital device, she says not to worry: “The tablet is so intuitive to use that there’s no sensitive window for becoming accustomed to that type of technology, so children will easily develop those competencies later on.”

Asked whether a child “needs” a tablet, she responds, “Children, typically at a younger age will not know what they’re missing. So, I think parents could delay the introduction of digital devices in children’s lives.”

Benefits of Books and Imaginary Play

The author's grandson in imaginary play

Not using a device gives young children more time “to engage in a variety of activities and interactions with other children. And caregivers should promote strong emotion regulation skills and social competence skills,” in Fitzgerald’s words.

These are her favorites for emotional muscle-building:

Shared book reading: “Where you discuss the emotions that characters might be experiencing and what somebody might be feeling.” See more on reading’s many benefits for kids of all ages.

Imaginary play: “Children can adopt the perspective of a character. This is wonderful for them to build their empathy.”

For preschool parents to survive screen-free in restaurants and travel away from home: “Crayons and paper can work wonders in these kinds of situations and are also likely to be a lot more favorable for children to develop creativity skills, fine motor skills, planning skills. Or [bring] the child’s favorite toy or a picture book to look at.”

Being able to play outdoors also makes kids more durable in mind, body, and spirit.

You Can Parent Differently  

In his best-seller, The Anxious Generation, NYU Professor Jonathan Haidt describes the dire state of older kids’ mental health.

He points to the culprit: too many children were not emotionally ready for all they would encounter on internet-connected mobile devices.

Their parents couldn’t know the consequences of providing those devices. But preschool parents are different.

You can learn from their experience and the reams of new findings.

Emotional dysregulation is only one disruption associated with early and excessive exposure to devices.

Research is pouring in from all over the world on developmental difficulties for babies and very young children ranging from language delay, autistic-like behavior, to changes in brain structure.  

And—just like for tweens and teens—media made for little children is sticky.

Many apps and programs use manipulative tricks to keep young viewers glued to the screen, as shown by Dr. Jenny Radesky’s research team at University of Michigan Medical School.

When online, kids may also stumble upon scary and adult content.

Act Now

You can stop your little one from falling into the trap of what Haidt terms “the phone-based childhood.”  

You can wait to give your child a device.

Children need to know their own OS first. That is, how their minds and bodies operate.

They also need as much time as they can get to discover their own unique treasure trove of interests and abilities.

As I wrote in the 2013 Durable Human Manifesto:

Early childhood is the only time in life when a person is completely free to discover his or her native gifts. 

I’m not saying that gifts of tablets and apps are not amazing, but their time will come.

To chart your path for how you’ll introduce your child to the digital world, I highly recommend Erin Loechner’s The Opt-Out Family.

Erin is a former online influencer who left it all behind. She uses Silicon Valley’s most effective tactics to help you create a rich and unplugged home environment, custom made to your own values.  

The American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization both advise holding off on exposing your child to digital devices until at least age two, except for video calls with loved ones.

Older than age two, any screen time should be less than one hour a day, preferably with you by your child’s side to help them understand what they see.

And break up that hour into smaller chunks.

“Children need a break—especially small children—for their eyes and for their posture. So, it’s a good idea to separate this 1 hour into bursts of 15 or 20 minutes, or half an hour.”

The KISS Principle

But keeping track of those chunks of time is a hassle, especially if the kids are going to be more of a handful. 

From a purely practical perspective, I agree with Fitzpatrick. Just keep it simple.  

“It’s always easier to prevent than to intervene. So, if the child is not asking for a tablet, there’s no necessity for the child to have a tablet.”

Watch my interview with Dr. Fitzpatrick:

Durable Human book covers

About the author:

Jenifer Joy Madden is a certified digital wellness educator, health journalist and founder of DurableHuman.com. She is the mother of three grownup practicing durable humans, one of whom has a little one in training.

Some babies are speaking less than babies did before COVID. Here’s how to get them talking.

Mom and Baby Point out toward waters of a river in South Carolina, USA

Everybody loves seeing babies wave bye-bye and say their first words. But those skills are coming more slowly to many babies born during the pandemic, according to new research in the Archives of Disease in Childhood.

Social isolation, household stress, and child or parent screen overuse are some reasons why experts believe babies may have had fewer face-to-face interactions at the height of COVID. As a result, the babies heard fewer words spoken by parents and other loved ones. They thus had “significantly less vocalizations” compared with babies born before the pandemic, says Brown University’s Advanced Baby Imaging Lab.

“I’m seeing children with global delays; with deficits in really early pre-language skills like pointing, giving and reaching,” observes Rhode Island speech-language pathologist Alyssa Loberti.

Top U.K. Schools Inspector Amanda Spielman sees the implications of babies speaking and being spoken to less. “I’m particularly worried about younger children’s development, which, if left unaddressed, could potentially cause problems for primary schools down the line.”

Kids Bounce Back

Luckily, little kids are resilient and thrive with loving attention.

Babies and toddlers who can look at loved ones’ faces, practice “talking”, and hear plenty of spoken words are typically quick to learn language. They also get a boost in brain development, executive functioning, and social-emotional skills.

Proof comes from LENA Grow, a professional development program for early childhood teachers. The program uses “talk pedometer” technology to detect how much preschool teachers converse with their students. Teachers are then made aware of times in the day there is little talking and which students experience less conversation. 

When teachers step up their chatter, the results are impressive.

After a LENA Grow intervention at Sprout Five early learning program in Columbus, Ohio, teacher words spoken increased by 27% and conversational turns between teachers and students soared by 80%.  

Children in LENA Grow classrooms “significantly increased their language and literacy skills compared to those in non-Grow classrooms,” according to a Sprout Five project summary. Students became more engaged with classroom activities and teachers felt less stressed and more satisfied with their jobs.

Avoiding Speech Delay

Back-and-forth face-to-face talk is also crucial for young children at home.

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