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Preventing the Phone-Based Childhood: Attention Preschool Parents

Preschool aged child using tablet. Photo by Merrily Pierce

Though it seems little kids everywhere are on hand-held screens, scientists are just catching up with effects that digital devices have on growing minds.

A new study adds to increasing concerns for preschool parents.

Turns out that mobile device use can interfere with how preschool-aged children learn to manage their emotions. The more time on screens, the more a child tends to struggle with anger and frustration.    

“What we seem to be observing is the emergence possibly of a vicious cycle over time.”

That’s the word from Caroline Fitzpatrick, Canada’s research chair on the impact of digital media on children. The work of her team at Quebec’s University of Sherbrooke is in JAMA Pediatrics.

The Canadian Tablet Study

Sherbrooke followed more than 200 preschoolers—checking in on each one at ages 3, 4 and 5.

The more time 3-year-olds spent on mobile devices, the more they were prone to anger and frustration one year later.  

4-year-old device users with anger management issues used screens more as they got older.

“We found that by the age of 5, children with worse emotion regulation skills were spending more time using tablets,” reports Fitzpatrick.

3-year-old device users were most vulnerable to emotional upheaval.   

How Digital Pacifiers Backfire  

Though Fitzpatrick’s team studied only tablet use, she reports, “We can reasonably extrapolate to smartphones because mobile devices and smartphones share a lot of the same features.”   

Fitzpatrick concedes that handing over a device may defuse a blowup in the moment, but her study shows that so-called digital pacifiers make it more difficult for the child in the long run.

“This might not be a good long-term strategy because when children use an external means to regulate their emotions, they’re not provided the opportunity to develop internal strategies for managing their emotions.”

Why Kids Need to Self-regulate

As exhausted new parents can attest, infants cannot control their tempers.  

Normally, though, “emotion management skills evolve very quickly during the preschool years,” explains Fitzpatrick.

Kids need these intrinsic skills to be able to do things like sit down and listen, be patient for short periods, and play with other kids.

When a child is focused on a screen, he or she can miss chances to build emotion skills, such as direct instruction from caregivers and watching how caregivers manage their own emotions.

Tablets Not Seen as Educational

Beyond harms to social-emotional development, mobile devices have little value as teaching tools.  

“There are very few documented educational benefits of having a tablet,” reports Fitzpatrick.  

For preschool parents concerned their kids won’t have technical skills without a digital device, she says not to worry: “The tablet is so intuitive to use that there’s no sensitive window for becoming accustomed to that type of technology, so children will easily develop those competencies later on.”

Asked whether a child “needs” a tablet, she responds, “Children, typically at a younger age will not know what they’re missing. So, I think parents could delay the introduction of digital devices in children’s lives.”

Benefits of Books and Imaginary Play

The author's grandson in imaginary play

Not using a device gives young children more time “to engage in a variety of activities and interactions with other children. And caregivers should promote strong emotion regulation skills and social competence skills,” in Fitzgerald’s words.

These are her favorites for emotional muscle-building:

Shared book reading: “Where you discuss the emotions that characters might be experiencing and what somebody might be feeling.” See more on reading’s many benefits for kids of all ages.

Imaginary play: “Children can adopt the perspective of a character. This is wonderful for them to build their empathy.”

For preschool parents to survive screen-free in restaurants and travel away from home: “Crayons and paper can work wonders in these kinds of situations and are also likely to be a lot more favorable for children to develop creativity skills, fine motor skills, planning skills. Or [bring] the child’s favorite toy or a picture book to look at.”

Being able to play outdoors also makes kids more durable in mind, body, and spirit.

You Can Parent Differently  

In his best-seller, The Anxious Generation, NYU Professor Jonathan Haidt describes the dire state of older kids’ mental health.

He points to the culprit: too many children were not emotionally ready for all they would encounter on internet-connected mobile devices.

Their parents couldn’t know the consequences of providing those devices. But preschool parents are different.

You can learn from their experience and the reams of new findings.

Emotional dysregulation is only one disruption associated with early and excessive exposure to devices.

Research is pouring in from all over the world on developmental difficulties for babies and very young children ranging from language delay, autistic-like behavior, to changes in brain structure.  

And—just like for tweens and teens—media made for little children is sticky.

Many apps and programs use manipulative tricks to keep young viewers glued to the screen, as shown by Dr. Jenny Radesky’s research team at University of Michigan Medical School.

When online, kids may also stumble upon scary and adult content.

Act Now

You can stop your little one from falling into the trap of what Haidt terms “the phone-based childhood.”  

You can wait to give your child a device.

Children need to know their own OS first. That is, how their minds and bodies operate.

They also need as much time as they can get to discover their own unique treasure trove of interests and abilities.

As I wrote in the 2013 Durable Human Manifesto:

Early childhood is the only time in life when a person is completely free to discover his or her native gifts. 

I’m not saying that gifts of tablets and apps are not amazing, but their time will come.

To chart your path for how you’ll introduce your child to the digital world, I highly recommend Erin Loechner’s The Opt-Out Family.

Erin is a former online influencer who left it all behind. She uses Silicon Valley’s most effective tactics to help you create a rich and unplugged home environment, custom made to your own values.  

The American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization both advise holding off on exposing your child to digital devices until at least age two, except for video calls with loved ones.

Older than age two, any screen time should be less than one hour a day, preferably with you by your child’s side to help them understand what they see.

And break up that hour into smaller chunks.

“Children need a break—especially small children—for their eyes and for their posture. So, it’s a good idea to separate this 1 hour into bursts of 15 or 20 minutes, or half an hour.”

The KISS Principle

But keeping track of those chunks of time is a hassle, especially if the kids are going to be more of a handful. 

From a purely practical perspective, I agree with Fitzpatrick. Just keep it simple.  

“It’s always easier to prevent than to intervene. So, if the child is not asking for a tablet, there’s no necessity for the child to have a tablet.”

Watch my interview with Dr. Fitzpatrick:

Durable Human book covers

About the author:

Jenifer Joy Madden is a certified digital wellness educator, health journalist and founder of DurableHuman.com. She is the mother of three grownup practicing durable humans, one of whom has a little one in training.

Baby’s Screen Time Linked to Mom’s Mental Health

New mom smiling at newborn reaching out to touch her face

The time a baby spends on screens can have a lot to do with the mother’s mental health.

Two new studies in JAMA Pediatrics show an association between babies’ screen use and delays in their development, especially in the areas of learning to speak and problem-solving.

The more screen exposure, the more delays.

In the studies—both from Japan—the states of mind of the mothers affected the time their babies spent using digital devices.

“Lower developmental scores were associated with increased screen time in children with maternal psychological distress,” the first study states.

Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are Widespread

Depression is a vexingly common disorder among pregnant and new moms. 1 in 8  has depression or anxiety severe enough to require medical care, according to the U.S. National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

A mother may be diagnosed with postpartum depression or anxiety if her feelings of sadness, emptiness, fear, or worry last for weeks and interfere with the tasks of everyday life.

Turning to screens is how some depressed and anxious parents cope.

As one mom recalls from before she was treated for postpartum depression, “I sat [my infant son] in a bouncy seat in front of the TV to get things done and take my mind off my anxiety and show something was getting accomplished.”

Many Parents Still Unaware of Screen Time Guidelines

Continue reading

Virtual Autism: A New Threat to Toddlers

Dr. Anne-Lise Ducanda manipulates toy ball

Don’t miss the interview with a mom who helped her 14-month-old son overcome screen-induced syndrome, a condition also termed “virtual autism.”: Watch it here.

Pediatricians are alarmed that babies and toddlers who spend hours a day on phones, tablets, and around TVs can develop a syndrome of marked behavioral changes that appear similar to autistic-like symptoms. The good news: the changes often disappear when the children stop all screen exposure and switch to face-to-face contact, reading, and play with parents, caregivers, other children, and non-electronic toys.

Two doctors in France are leading an awareness campaign, which they explain in this video.

“Screen viewing several hours a day prevents the brain from developing and generates behavior problems and relationship problems,” reports Dr. Anne-Lise Ducanda, speaking also for colleague Dr. Isabelle Terrasse. “We decided to make this video to warn parents, professionals, and public bodies of the grave dangers of all screens for children between the ages of zero to four.”

The doctors had noticed more and more toddlers with unusual changes in behavior. Some had stopped responding to their names and speaking words, began avoiding eye contact, and had become indifferent to the world around them. Many children lagged behind developmentally for their age and were language delayed. 

Pediatrician holds up drawings by two 4-year-olds. The drawing by the child who is on screens a lot is much less detailed than the one drawn by a child who doesn't spend much time on screens.

Drawing on left by a 4-year-old who spends little time on screen media. Drawing on right by a slightly older 4-year-old who was highly screen-exposed..

After asking parents in detail about the kids’ media use and household exposure, the doctors discovered almost all the children had spent large amounts of time on and around screens—in some cases, ten hours a day. But when families stopped the child’s screen exposure and greatly increased social interaction and play with the child, most if not all aspects of the condition eventually disappeared.

Various studies in Romania have come to similar conclusions, one stating “sensory-motor and socio-affective deprivation caused by the consumption of more than 4 hours/day of virtual environment can activate behaviours and elements similar to those found in children diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).”

Because this phenomenon has been so often observed in Romania, screen withdrawal there is now a therapeutic protocol for early ASD and a campaign is underway informing parents about the problem.

Romanian psychologist Marius Zamfir coined the term “Virtual Autism” to describe the screen-induced syndrome. He worries about lack of motivation among children exposed to excessive screen content. “Children’s brains are used to getting pleasure without making any effort at all,” he says in this video made for the Romanian public information campaign.  

Meanwhile, a study released in 2022 of more than 84,000 Japanese babies and their mothers found that “among boys, longer screen time at 1 year of age was significantly associated with autism spectrum disorder at 3 years of age.”

“With the rapid increase in device usage,” concluded the authors, “it is necessary to review the health effects of screen time on infants and to control excessive screen time.” 

Study Proves Observable Brain Changes

A study of toddlers’ brains seems to bear out the behavioral indicators.

Cincinnati Children’s Hospital researchers show evidence in JAMA Pediatrics that young children who spend more than two hours a day on screens have less brain white matter. The brain’s white matter aids in thought processing and organization, as well as performing other vital functions.

“Think of white matter as cables, sort of like telephone lines that are connecting the various parts of the brain so they can talk to each other,” study author Dr. John Hutton told CNN.

“These are tracks that we know are involved with language and literacy,” he continued. “And these were the ones relatively underdeveloped in these kids with more screen time.”

47 healthy toddlers were studied. Screen exposure among them ranged from zero to about five hours a day.

In their report, the study authors did not make a connection to virtual autism nor did they specifically mention autistic-like symptoms.

Astronomical Rise in Autism Incidence

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, in 1975—when VCRs first came on scene—only one in 5,000 children in the U.S. was reported to have ASD. But by 2016, video on demand had become ubiquitous and the incidence of ASD had risen to one child in 68. The CDC now estimates the rate is 1 child in every 44

Until very recently, “AV (audio-visual) exposure in infancy has been overlooked” as a risk factor for autism, according to research ophthalmologist Karen Frankel Heffler of Drexel University College of Medicine. As she writes in the journal Medical Hypotheses, “There has been an explosion in viewing opportunities for infants over the past 25 years, which parallels the rise in autism.”

“Attention in the vulnerable infant is drawn away from healthy social interactions toward TV, computer screens, and electronic toys,” according to Heffler.

In early 2020, JAMA Pediatrics published an analysis that Heffler co-authored which found that babies who viewed TV and videos at age one had a slightly greater chance of displaying autistic-like symptoms than non-TV watching babies by the age of two. Conversely, the study found, “Less screen exposure and more parent-child play at 12 months of age were associated with fewer ASD-like symptoms at 2 years of age.”

In 2022, Heffler’s team published a pilot intervention involving 9 children between 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 years of age who were diagnosed with ASD and watched at least 2 hours of screen media a day.

As the study shows, when screen time was replaced by increased interaction with caregivers, “Children’s screen viewing decreased from an average of 5.6 hours/day prior to intervention to 5 min/day during the study. Significant improvements were observed in core autism symptoms and parent stress from pre- to post-intervention.”

Heffler’s team also published a case study of two toddlers diagnosed with autism showed that when screen time was stopped and social time increased, there were “marked improvements in developmental trajectories.” 

Australian research also shows that babies with early signs of autism may avoid an autism diagnosis if parents are taught communication skills through video feedback

LEARN ABOUT THE LATEST TODDLERS AND SCREENS RESEARCH HERE FROM DR. KAREN HEFFLER  

Researcher has Firsthand Experience with Screen-Induced Syndrome 

At the first-ever Children’s Screen Time Action Network conference, I happened to meet Dr. Heffler’s research associate, Lori Frome, M.Ed. Frome is an autism treatment specialist who discovered, also by chance, that the symptoms in one of her young patients who had been diagnosed with ASD disappeared after her screen exposure was curtailed.

Frome then tried the same treatment on her own young son, who also had an ASD diagnosis. Over the course of several months with no screens but intensive face-to-face interaction with herself and other loved ones, he had “a complete developmental trajectory change in the core deficits of ASD,” as Frome describes in this video. In other words, her son became developmentally normal for his age. 

Screen media has a “very addictive power,” says Dr. Ducanda. “Little by little the child can no longer do without and demands it more and more. If the parents try and withdraw him, he can go into a real meltdown.”

Doctors Ducanda and Terrasse contend that heavy doses of screen time affect what would be, in pre-digital times, the natural wiring of a child’s brain.

Watching a ball move on a screen, for instance, does not register in a child’s mind the same way it does to manipulate and throw a ball. Says Dr. Ducanda: “The small child’s brain cannot develop without this sense of touch.”

Dr. Andrew Doan, an ophthalmologist and neuroscientist, produced this video explaining the phenomenon of Virtual Autism, with great suggestions on how to limit children’s screen viewing.

In this TEDx talk, I discuss the importance of parent-child Attachment and how digital devices can interfere with early relational health. 

Avoiding Screen-Induced Syndrome

So, what’s a parent to do? For one thing: respect the child’s basic developmental needs. For babies and toddlers to learn to speak, reason, and develop crucial social skills, they need face-to-face interaction with loving people and to use all their senses as often as they can.

A study from Iran proves the power of parent interaction and play. Investigators selected 12 toddlers with autistic-like symptoms who had spent half their waking hours on screen devices. Their parents were then given 8 weeks of lessons in how to play with their children, with an emphasis on eye-to-eye contact, loving touch, and continuous communication. While the parents applied these lessons at home, objects that had absorbed the children’s attention were taken away, including digital devices.

At the end of the two-month period, the children’s screen time had shrunk to a bare minimum, their ASD-like repetitive behaviors were greatly reduced, and brain studies showed ASD-like readings had returned to nearly normal.

Screen time duration drops in Journal of Asian Psychiatry Study from Iran

One of the study’s chief investigators told me consistency is the key. For the intervention to work, the parents had to stick with high-touch, high-talk interaction all day every day during the children’s waking hours. He says researchers can now confidently recommend that children under age three should spend their time playing and interacting face-to-face with caring adults and not using digital devices.

The American Academy of Pediatrics agrees that babies and toddlers should never use screens alone. Any interaction with screens should be limited to video calls with loved ones, with a caregiver standing by.  

Preschoolers should not have more than one hour of screen time a day in order “to allow children ample time to engage in other activities important to their health and development,” says the AAP.

The World Health Organization agrees that, for the sake of their health and proper brain formation, children under age one should have no exposure to screens.

Life Balance Guidelines for Infants from the World Health Organization

World Health Organization Infant Guidelines (Under Age One)

Early Childhood is a Once in a Lifetime Opportunity

When you look through Today’s lens, early childhood has become a rarified, once-in-a-lifetime pre-digital opportunity. As I write in The Durable Human Manifesto: Practical Wisdom for Living and Parenting in the Digital Age, each child begins life as a “wild human”—as free and unplugged as any other animal.

“When toddlers range around, freely using all of their senses to examine, taste and play with whatever they choose, they are making rich and lifelong neural connections.”

Boy playing outside with toy trucks

So kids can stay on a healthy developmental track, experts including Dr. Ducanda and Lori Frome recommend that you:

  • Talk, play, and read with your child every day as much as possible
  • Provide materials, toys, and games that require manipulation, such as empty plastic food containers and lids, stacking cups, play dough, finger paints, and a play kitchen
  • Go outside at least once a day and make sure the child has time to play alone and with other children
  • Not use screens when you are with your young child
  • Not hand a phone to your baby or young child (and keep the screen locked, just in case they grab it)
  • Keep the TV off around kids under age four, even if it’s TV on in the background and child doesn’t seem to be paying attention to what’s on the screen
  • Explain to family members and caregivers why these measures are essential to a child’s healthy development, durability, and well-being

Great grandfather plays on floor with great grandson

Dr. Heffler points out in her research that characteristics that may resemble those associated with autism in very young children can have a variety of causes. If symptoms do arise, Dr. Ducanda and her colleagues recommend keeping the child away from all screens for at least a month, which will require the cooperation of every household member. If that can be accomplished, she claims, ASD-like problems in many children may “miraculously disappear or diminish considerably.”

Conversely, if a child has a full, well-balanced life with very minimal screen exposure, these types of symptoms may never emerge.

Parent Resources

Watch an interview of an American mother who came forward after discovering information on this post to tell the story of how her 14-month-old son developed and overcame screen-induced syndrome. 

This site has links to research and researchers.  

Watch webinars with Lori Frome M. Ed. who explains how to detect, treat, and avoid screen-induced syndrome: 

See the latest webinar on YouTube:

Webinar Welcome Page "Virtual Autism. What to Look For. What to Do."

Also see this earlier webinar: 

Welcome screen Virtual Autism webinar "Learn More About Virtual Autism"

Download Lori Frome’s specially-curated Parent Resource List from the box on this page.

Finally, in this simple online course, I teach parents why and how to create loving bonds with their babies and toddlers as well as to maximize their brain development and language learning.

Note: This post was last updated on December 14, 2023

About the author:

The mom of three practicing durable humans, DurableHuman.com founder Jenifer Joy Madden is a certified digital wellness instructor, health journalist, digital media adjunct professor, and author of How To Be a Durable Human: Revive and Thrive in the Digital Age Through the Power of Self-Design and The Durable Human Manifesto.

Her work has informed millions on ABC News and Discovery Health Channel, in The Washington Post, Readers Digest and other news outlets.

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