It may be tempting to want to please a child pleading for a shiny, new smartphone. But if you’re a grandparent, family friend, or any loved one who is not the child’s parent, granting that wish could do more harm than good. Read on for the scary reasons why and for a list of non-tech gifts kids will also be excited to receive.

I’ve always held that giving a child a cellphone has more strings attached than the coolest pair of sneakers. But looking back, this 2014 post seems quaint and innocent. In the decade since, smartphones and their content have become extremely sophisticated—and downright treacherous for children.

Smartphone as delivery vehicle

I know a mom who has two young daughters. Since before they were born, we’ve talked about how she would introduce them to the digital world. She’s done a great job thoughtfully helping them balance the time they spend on technology with everything else they need to do to grow up confident and self-sufficient.

So I was surprised when she told me her 12-year-old had a smartphone. “My mother promised her a phone when she got to middle school,” she said with a sigh.

I asked if her daughter had social media. “Well, not really, except for Snapchat. She begged for it since everybody has it—and we said yes.”

I thought for a minute if I should tell her.

The tragic case of Sewell Setzer

That very day, I’d learned of a lawsuit filed over the death of 14-year-old Sewell Setzer.