Robin thought she was “being Super Mom” as she made nice dinners and tidied her midwestern U.S. home, with her toddler son quietly sitting nearby watching made-for-babies TV. She didn’t know that by letting him watch so often, he was developing the newly described condition termed “Virtual Autism.”
Took a While to Realize
For weeks, Robin rationalized the changes she saw, but finally had to admit something was wrong. Her formerly happy, lively 14-month-old had stopped having eye contact, no longer said words, and began to display hand-flapping, spinning and other autistic-like symptoms.
“The big one was,” she recalls, “he had stopped answering to his name.”
As she searched her mind, it dawned on her that he was a bit more sociable and “himself” on days the TV was off. She thought about how much he’d been watching the online baby show, CoComelon. He started in the COVID lockdown and it became a habit over the months. He typically watched about two hours a day.
Going to the computer, she searched the words “screentime,” “toddlers”, and “autism.” That’s when she found The Durable Human post on Virtual Autism.
“The next day,” she recalls, “we stopped screentime.”
Origins of Virtual Autism
The Romanian clinical psychologist Marius Zamfir first named the condition that can emerge among toddlers who watch multiple hours of screen media on a daily basis. As Zamfir has stated, “I used the word ‘virtual’ in the naming because there is a direct causal link between excessive consumption (over 4-5 hours per day) of virtual environment (smartphone, tablet, TV, laptop, etc.) and ASD-specific behaviors [among children 0 to 3 years].”
Zamfir also pioneered the treatment: to stop the child’s exposure to all screens and greatly increase interaction with parents and other caring people. The intervention includes much more face-to-face and eye contact, talking, and physical play with real toys and children—indoors and out.
As Zamfir explains, “The younger the age in problem identification, the faster the problems go away.”
Pediatricians and psychologists from France, the U.S., Israel, Iran, and Thailand now study and treat children with the screen-induced syndrome and are cited on the website autismandscreens.org.
The World Health Organization advises there should be no screen media for children under two years old due to their extremely rapid and sensitive brain development, as well as need for physical activity and affection.
Screentime Stopped, Skill-building Started
Robin and her son’s pediatrician agreed that removing screens couldn’t hurt. They saw improvement almost immediately.
In just the first week, Robin says, “his waving came back within a few days…all of a sudden he was very clingy with me, which was out of the norm and very reassuring to me and eye contact wasn’t where it should be, but it was there—definitely.”
After that, she began to work with her son to improve every developmental skill that was absent or lacking when he took the M-CHAT toddler screening questionnaire for autism spectrum disorder.
A Long Path Back
Recovery took months. “The screen removal was the easy part,” she told The Durable Human in an interview. “The hard part was the constant high-quality social interaction.”
Robin never gave up. “Since the progress started so rapidly, it was kind of instant gratification for me. It was very inspiring. And I also had this idea that this is my one shot. I don’t have another option.”
She worried her son needed extra help regaining his speech. “His receptive language was just nothing and he didn’t say anything. So even though he really wanted to be social, he could not talk or comprehend.”
After five months of speech therapy, Robin proudly reports, “He graduated! The communicative language words he speaks is within the threshold of normal for a two-year-old and his receptive language is considered advanced.”
The Miracle of No Screentime
The little boy’s doctors are astounded at his progress, as is Robin herself: “A miracle. it’s like I saw a miracle.”
She calls it “the greatest blessing in disguise. I mean, with screens just not being an option, it really frees you from that crutch.”
She and her son now are both more “present,” in her word. “The screens almost made it feel like, instead of living and enjoying the day, it felt like I was just getting through the day. Like this was a balm or a drug or a time-eater, just to whittle away the day. I feel so empowered now that I’ve done it without screens and I know I can do it. I feel like endless possibilities.”
A Warning about Early and Often Screentime
Robin, who had been following information about babies, toddlers and screens that is shared on The Durable Human blog and YouTube Channel, volunteered to tell her story because she wants to give the world this message:
“Families need to know that, even though heavy screen use is normalized in our society, that doesn’t mean it’s safe. Lead paint was once called safe, asbestos was called safe, cars didn’t have seat belts—and that doesn’t mean it was okay.
This heavy screen use in society is fairly recent. Its effects on the human mind—on our children—hasn’t really been fully realized yet. And just because you aren’t being warned explicitly at every doctor’s appointment, or by parents that came before you, or other parents—that doesn’t mean the danger isn’t there.”
“Wrong to Keep it to Myself”
Robin’s second child was expected days after she spoke with The Durable Human. Having her hands fuller won’t stop her from spreading the word about the effects of early and often screen viewing.
“I don’t feel that I would be being a good human being to keep this to myself. That’s why I agreed to this interview and any subsequent anything. It would be wrong to keep this to myself.”
Here’s a 49-second trailer from the interview:
About the author: Jenifer Joy Madden is a certified Digital Wellness educator, health journalist, and founder of DurableHuman.com and Durable U online parent education. She wrote How To Be a Durable Human: Revive and Thrive in the Digital Age Through the Power of Self-Design and is the mother of three grownup practicing durable humans.
Hi, my son just turned 4 last month. He was heavily exposed to cocomelon until he was 2. It was then when we realised that something is not right with him. He never said a word, there was no response to name and eye contact. We met a doctor who diagnosed with with high risk of autism based in M-Chart. His score was 9. After researching we came to know about Virtual Autism and we stopped his screen time immediately. He could see few improvements like eye contact, he was coming to us but mostly he was to himself but when we played with him he gave good response. Gradually I slipped into depression as the word autism kept haunting me day and night. We never saw stimming behaviour until he was on screen but as the screen was taken away, he stimming became very intense . He would flap his hangs, thump his foot, jump, head banging and spinning and rolling every single thing that could spin and roll. We were very upset and did not know what to do. We were suggested for therapy and we started with weekly once but over there they would only talk to us and tell us what we need to do at home. He would cry and cry and we failed there. We stopped going to therapy. We gave a real of 6 months and worked with him at home, took home plan for OT and kept him engaged through the day. It was very hard and depressing as progress was slow. In the year 2024 January we put him to a therapy centre where was getting ABA and OT . Until three months he was doing fine but gradually his progress became slow and most of the stimming behaviour that became very less started to show again. We stopped going the that therapy centre and tried pre-school with him. We tried with two different schools but failed. He would only cry. Coming to this year, we have put him again to a new therapy centre where they said that he has vestibular, visual and tactile needs along with speech delay. We are sending him thrice a week for both OT and speech . What has changed over two yers of time- his eye contact is fair, response to name is fair, his understand and awareness is good, he can follow commands, tantrums and meltdown have reduced a lot, he has many words but still communicates I. One or two words for all his needs, he has started to go to school and he can sit there without crying, he cooperates well during therapy sessions, he can ride bicycles, kids ride -ons, play in park, go to malls, restaurant , he can sit and do activities at home like sorting, stacking, puzzles etc, he can blow candles, sip through sipper, eat on his own, drink on his own etc.Where are we still stuck- we are still stuck with proper communication in full sentence, social skills and but of spinning of objects. It’s been two years of complete screen fast but we are still stuck . Does this look like Virtual Autism or Classic Autism to you? What else we can do to make him talk in full sentence. He can repeat 3-4 words with prompt and can imitate us. Plz suggest what this looks like?
Hello @Magha. Quick question for you as we think about your situation. Where do you live? (your country of residence). Thank you!
Hi, l am from India.
Hi Robin. My son who is now 4.5 years old had extensive use of screen since 11 months. He was recently diagnosed with autism. Since we got rid of his ipad 2 months ago, he’s had some improvements. Although he is mostly doing echolalia, he is able to communicate some of his needs in full sentences like “Can I have some mangoes, please?”, “Can I have some popsicle, please?”, “Can we go to the park” etc. He is potty trained since 2 years old. His eye contact has increased and he also has great improvement when we call his name. He also has functional language sometimes. We got him in preschool 3 weeks ago and we were surprised that he was able to use the spoon and fork and able to eat by himself. Since we eliminated his ipad, we now see some improvements on his behavior by having less tantrums and if he does, it does not last long. His stimming of spinning has lessened tremendously. I got him on supplements that could help him out i.e, Omega 3s, Green veggie gummies, etc. We also try hard to have more physical interaction with him and more outdoor plays as well as eliminating unhealthy foods.
When he used to have his Ipad, he would be switching videos repeatedly and would fast forward the songs repeatedly as if he gets bored by the regular pace of the tune. I think he was trying to get like a dopamine rush from doing this? Do you think what he has is a virtual autism? Per his school, he’s made great improvements in socializing with the other kids in class although there are times that he prefers to be by himself. Please let me know what you think
Hi Nicole,
Congratulations to you and your family for your son’s immense progress.
Here is what I think: if you noticed improvements surrounding the removal of the iPad, then yes, the iPad was contributing. I am very impressed at how fast your son’s recovery is going, especially with how extensive the screen time was. To me, it sounds like your son will only keep improving. He may hit what seem to be plateaus or regressions, but rest assured these are a natural part of the process and they always pass. Know that they will happen. They will happen just after learning a new big skill, during illness, and just before a new big skill starts to emerge. Make sure to head over to the other article on this site “Virtual Autism: A New Threat to Toddlers” and read all the material there including the comments section.
As far as the videos on fast forward, it sounds like a stim to me. Kids with autism and autism like symptoms and behaviors are known for using toys (and I would say the iPad counts as a toy) in “unusual” or “incorrect” ways. A common one is for kids to hold a toy car up to their face and spin the wheel inches from their eyes to look at it, while never actually playing with the car normally. I think the video fast forwarding and toggling is something similar.
Hi,
I wanted to make sure I share this since a year ago I was looking at this thread. My son(now 3years old) had speech regression, no response to name and some stimming behaviors at 2 years old. He was getting significant screen time prior. We got him evaluated by pediatrician and started early intervention. I eliminated all screens. We started noticing improvement within a week of eliminating screens and increasing interaction with him. I also take him for speech therapy and occupational therapy outside. In a year, I have noticed significant improvement and progress- he started pointing, following directions, decreased tantrum, improved receptive language, response to name improved. Now expressive language is starting to improve and I am very hopeful. Above all my son is back to playful self. I think eliminating screens and all the interventions helped. I wanted to share this to give hope to anyone who is worried about their child. Keep at it and you will notice improvements!
Hi Sherry,
Thanks for sharing this. Good to see your post and it gives me more confidence.
For my daughter also there was significant screen time till 2 years and we started therapy from last 4 months. Could you please share on daily routines you followed and any inputs that could help the kid to improve the receptive and expressive language ?
Regards
Mang
Hi Robin,
I am working mom from India and have a daughter who is now 33 months now (almost 3 years). My daughter was exposed to screentime from 8 months to 2 years for at least 5 hours per day. And we realized her delay in speech, and she was not responding to her name or following commands. She also occasionally started toe walking and aggressive behavior. From her 24 months we stopped screen time and started play school also. After 3 months of no screen, we saw improvement in her eye-contact but still name response was not there and she was not following any commands and pointing didn’t emerge.
We started OT and Speech therapy for past 4 months, and she continues to attend to play school. Now she responds to her name and pointing emerged but not completely. She responds to her name very well and toe walking stopped. She is able to follow the commands, and she socializes really well. She got good social smile. She knows to wave hands and give hi-fis, and she can understand 3 languages (30-40%). She got exposed to more language because of the environment she got stuck because of my work. Also, she started addressing me as mama. And she is blabbering a lot. Her sitting tolerance and attention have improved but still sometimes when she’s excited, she is flapping hands rarely.
But on communication side, she has very probably 5 words but a lot of meaningless blabbering. She also cries and getting frustrated to see her younger brother speaks proper words who is 10 months younger to her. With two kids around same age, I get anxious when the younger one started communicating but elder one is struggling. We are still continuing with the therapies but nowadays my daughter talking meaningful words or communicating in sentences is like a magic that will probably never happen. I am getting frustrated and losing hope day by day. Her speech therapist is also running out of options because my daughter enjoys OT sessions, and she tries every activity. But for speech only those meaning less words are still there. I feel scared when her 3rd birthday is approaching. It feels like never-ending marathon. Everyone is telling that I am spending my energy and resources on my daughter who would never improve and asking me to accept her as autistic and isolate her from social get together. But my daughter loves to meet people, and she enjoys every piece of it.
My younger also exposed to screentime but he seems okay. I am not sure why only my daughter is delayed. Please share your experiences.
Mang
Hello Mang,
First of all, congratulations to you and your daughter and family for coming so far with her rehabilitation! This is a great sign. If she improved as much as she has, then she will continue to improve with speech. Though she will likely need support.
Please tell me, when your daughter attends speech therapy, is the therapy focused on the therapist interacting with your daughter, OR is the therapist teaching YOU how to best interact with your daughter at home in ways that are best for teaching young children language? Let me know, I believe your daughter’s language will come with some targeted work at home that I will walk you through.
Robin
Thank you replying back. Highly appreciate it.
Her therapist communicate with her and also gives me tips on what should be done for the entire day to provide her opportunity to speak.
She does really well in occupational therapy but it is difficult to engage her in speech sessions. And also she picks up words but loses it for some days and again she picks up on her own.
Say she addresses me “mama” when I m not around as a sign of asking about me. Can you give me tips on how to make it consistent.
Regards
Mang
Hi Mang,
That is great that the therapist instructs you how best to interact with your daughter to help her to learn language.
The issue where she learns a word and then appears to forget it is very common, and normal, and not actually a problem.
That is what child professionals call an “emerging skill”
Speaking is very new to young children. They have not yet formed the neural pathways that make speech feel automatic and fluid. Speech is something adults do not have to think about, it’s because we have years and years of forged neural pathways for speech. Repetition is what makes a strong neural pathway.
When a skill like that is very new for a child, it’s called an emerging skill. What this means is that until those neural pathways have become forged and strengthened through repetition, the child will appear to misfire or forget the skill. It takes time! It’s very common for the child seemingly forgetting a word they recently learned.
My son’s speech therapist explained it to me like this: Even when adults are learning something very new, they are forming a new neural pathway for that action. When a person learns to golf for the first time, swinging that club does not feel natural and automatic at first. It feels awkward and uncertain, and difficult. That is the feeling of not having forged a neural pathway for that action yet. And more importantly, the person learning to golf is going to miss the ball more often than hit the ball! Those misses are the equivalent of your child “forgetting” her new word. She is metaphorically swinging the golf club and missing the ball. But with more practice she will begin to hit the ball more often.
Since your daughter is starting to say some words, even sporadically, I believe spoken language is just around the corner for her. This is the pattern all the children who recover from over exposure to screens follow. My own son included! He would appear to forget new words and go weeks between saying them. Now he is 4.5 years and and NEVER stops talking.
I recommend you go to the other post on this site titled Virtual Autism: A New Threat to Toddlers. Read all the material and watch all the videos on that post. And also go browse the comments section there. It is filled with lots of great information from parents. There is a conversation in that comment section between a father named Ankur and me that details lots of tips on spoken language. Ankur’s daughter is now fully recovered and also talks and talks and talks now he reports!
Hi Robin,
I went through the other post and it was more informative. Thank you ! We are trying to consistently repeat certain words and context.
But we are in a place where she hear atleast 3 different languages. What could we do about this ? Will it delay her language development further ?
She’s going to be 3 in few days and it’s really anxious to see her not speaking. As a guilty mom, trying me best !
In her school almost all the kids are exposed to cocomelon. Everyday I question myself on why only my daughter got delayed because of tv ? Is it just speech delay or more to that !
More than therapy, is there anything I could do that would help her ? On Nutrition side any suggestions
Regards
Mang
Hand flapping is categorized as an automatic response to specific triggers in a person’s environment. It is a physical response without deliberate thought.