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A Mother Speaks about Her Toddler, Screentime, and Virtual Autism

Toddler plays alone on tablet

Robin thought she was “being Super Mom” as she made nice dinners and tidied her midwestern U.S. home, with her toddler son quietly sitting nearby watching made-for-babies TV. She didn’t know that by letting him watch so often, he was developing the newly described condition termed “Virtual Autism.”

Took a While to Realize

For weeks, Robin rationalized the changes she saw, but finally had to admit something was wrong. Her formerly happy, lively 14-month-old had stopped having eye contact, no longer said words, and began to display hand-flapping, spinning and other autistic-like symptoms.

“The big one was,” she recalls, “he had stopped answering to his name.”

As she searched her mind, it dawned on her that he was a bit more sociable and “himself” on days the TV was off. She thought about how much he’d been watching the online baby show, CoComelon. He started in the COVID lockdown and it became a habit over the months. He typically watched about two hours a day.  

Going to the computer, she searched the words “screentime,” “toddlers”, and “autism.” That’s when she found The Durable Human post on Virtual Autism.

“The next day,” she recalls, “we stopped screentime.”

Origins of Virtual Autism

The Romanian clinical psychologist Marius Zamfir first named the condition that can emerge among toddlers who watch multiple hours of screen media on a daily basis. As Zamfir has stated, “I used the word ‘virtual’ in the naming because there is a direct causal link between excessive consumption (over 4-5 hours per day) of virtual environment (smartphone, tablet, TV, laptop, etc.) and ASD-specific behaviors [among children 0 to 3 years].”

Zamfir also pioneered the treatment: to stop the child’s exposure to all screens and greatly increase interaction with parents and other caring people. The intervention includes much more face-to-face and eye contact, talking, and physical play with real toys and children—indoors and out.

As Zamfir explains, “The younger the age in problem identification, the faster the problems go away.”

Pediatricians and psychologists from France, the U.S., Israel, Iran, and Thailand now study and treat children with the screen-induced syndrome and are cited on the website autismandscreens.org.

The World Health Organization advises there should be no screen media for children under two years old due to their extremely rapid and sensitive brain development, as well as need for physical activity and affection.  

Screentime Stopped, Skill-building Started

Robin and her son’s pediatrician agreed that removing screens couldn’t hurt. They saw improvement almost immediately.

In just the first week, Robin says, “his waving came back within a few days…all of a sudden he was very clingy with me, which was out of the norm and very reassuring to me and eye contact wasn’t where it should be, but it was there—definitely.”

After that, she began to work with her son to improve every developmental skill that was absent or lacking when he took the M-CHAT toddler screening questionnaire for autism spectrum disorder.

A Long Path Back

Recovery took months. “The screen removal was the easy part,” she told The Durable Human in an interview. “The hard part was the constant high-quality social interaction.”

Robin never gave up. “Since the progress started so rapidly, it was kind of instant gratification for me. It was very inspiring. And I also had this idea that this is my one shot. I don’t have another option.”

She worried her son needed extra help regaining his speech. “His receptive language was just nothing and he didn’t say anything. So even though he really wanted to be social, he could not talk or comprehend.”

After five months of speech therapy, Robin proudly reports, “He graduated! The communicative language words he speaks is within the threshold of normal for a two-year-old and his receptive language is considered advanced.”

The Miracle of No Screentime

The little boy’s doctors are astounded at his progress, as is Robin herself: “A miracle. it’s like I saw a miracle.”

She calls it “the greatest blessing in disguise. I mean, with screens just not being an option, it really frees you from that crutch.”

She and her son now are both more “present,” in her word. “The screens almost made it feel like, instead of living and enjoying the day, it felt like I was just getting through the day. Like this was a balm or a drug or a time-eater, just to whittle away the day. I feel so empowered now that I’ve done it without screens and I know I can do it. I feel like endless possibilities.”

A Warning about Early and Often Screentime

Robin, who had been following information about babies, toddlers and screens that is shared on The Durable Human blog and YouTube Channel, volunteered to tell her story because she wants to give the world this message:

“Families need to know that, even though heavy screen use is normalized in our society, that doesn’t mean it’s safe. Lead paint was once called safe, asbestos was called safe, cars didn’t have seat belts—and that doesn’t mean it was okay.

This heavy screen use in society is fairly recent. Its effects on the human mind—on our children—hasn’t really been fully realized yet. And just because you aren’t being warned explicitly at every doctor’s appointment, or by parents that came before you, or other parents—that doesn’t mean the danger isn’t there.”

“Wrong to Keep it to Myself”

Robin’s second child was expected days after she spoke with The Durable Human. Having her hands fuller won’t stop her from spreading the word about the effects of early and often screen viewing. 

“I don’t feel that I would be being a good human being to keep this to myself. That’s why I agreed to this interview and any subsequent anything. It would be wrong to keep this to myself.”

Here’s a 49-second trailer from the interview:

About the author: Jenifer Joy Madden is a certified Digital Wellness educator, health journalist, and founder of DurableHuman.com and Durable U online parent education. She wrote How To Be a Durable Human: Revive and Thrive in the Digital Age Through the Power of Self-Design and is the mother of three grownup practicing durable humans.

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Nowrin

Hi Robin
Is it possible to get diagnosed autism but it’s actually virtual autism?

Belle

Hi robin can i know if your child have a sensory issue to my toddler always cover his ears and not responding to his name.

Krishnapriyanishant

Hi mam
My son suffering from virtual autism.. therapies are going on .. after 2 month’s he starts head shaking . Is it normal or any other issues??

Robin

Hello,

The head shaking is a very common stim that children affected by screens adopt during their recovery. It is normal! I am not sure why it happens, but many parents report new behaviors like that during the process.

Robin

Rose

Hi Robin,
May I ask how long it took your son to regain full eye contact and to start putting sentences together?

Robin

Hi Rose,

My son’s eye contact improved very much in the first month of no screens, but his eye contact in general improved throughout the entire duration of the screen removal protocol and even kept improving beyond when his eye contact was deemed within normal range for his age. It’s an ongoing and ever evolving thing for these kids. I would say his eye contact became within normal range about 6 months after we removed screens. Keep in mind each child is different and has a different back story, some viewed screens for longer or for more hours per day, etc, so timelines will vary by child.

Full sentences came about 10 months after screen removal. Full sentences as in, 2 or 3 words strung together. Again timelines will vary from child to child.

Rose

Thank you for the response. Same here. It’s been almost 2 months with no screen and we are seeing insane improvements. Eye contact is back but is not perfect 2-3 seconds max. I know it takes 6-9 months for full recovery.

Marco

Hi my name is marco. Im a father of a 2 year old and 3 months. I noticed my daughter was not responding to name and not giving eye contact by the age of 2. Has soon i stopped the screen and introduced green tea with high ltheanine her recovery was nothing but a miracle. For 3 weeks it was a daily improvement but after she got covid she became worse. My question is: is it normal to have a fast recovery then a regression before a full recovery?
Im 2 months in this regression and i see no light at the end of the tunnel….

Robin

Hello Marco and welcome,

During the screen removal protocol, it is very common for children to experience what looks like regressions during stress or illness. It is a guarantee. Keep working with your daughter, providing sensory activities and lots of social interactions. Also, the beginning of the screen removal process is the hardest.

I’m interested in hearing about your daughters daily routines, what kind of activities and socializing is she getting? Maybe we will have some helpful suggestions for you.

You cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel because it is far away. But it IS there. Keep going!

Robin

Marco

Hi robin. Many thanks for your reply. Im a nurse by profession so i didnt spend much time around the house and left my partner to struggle at home. Initially i didnt know about screen damaged but as a health professional, i look for “things” around health wise even without being fully aware, some call 6th sense. I noticed my daughter struggle alot to fall asleep over night. Not to go to sleep but waking up in a scream like terrified. After starting to see a patern i told my partner to reduce screen time to max one hour a day and that very same day she sleep 3 night absolutely sound, but it was shorted lived. She started showing signs of asd, some were strange because she can talk but no verbal communication just “means to an end” such as “up” or “open” to “make her wish happen”. I think once she became aware she started showing “issues” related to her sleep. Something happened in her nursery because she was absolutely terrified to go in there. I fell i failed to “listen” to her initially but i promised to never happen again. I took her out of there the last day she became so distress it even disturbed me. As soon i placed my foot out of nursery she stopped like a switch. I initially thought trauma was involves because for example i used to lay her down to chance nappy and she would cry grabbing her own head like someone hit her or banged her head, at one time i noticed 2 bumps and i questioned the nursery and of course they said nothing happened. 2 weeks went by since left nursery and her sleep improved. I stopped working to understand what was happening and help her because in the uk you get 0 help. I started looking back to her routines and she used to watch 4-6 h a day of tv since 3 weeks old. I started questioning myself with little knowledge around brain development if the tv could be the culprit. I found a research by dr. Zamfir and everything clicked. (Forgot to mention that when she was 2 we took her to a pediatrician and she was diagnosed with high risk of autism). At the time i accepted and spent alot of time crying but once i started studing autism…it didnt made no sense. She had “in and out” of mindstates, like she was in other places and sometimes in sync with what was going on. After reading dr. Zamfir research i started trying to find ways to improve neuro transmitors naturally in a child. One way i found safe was ltheanine from green tea. The very same day i gave her she changed within 45m, her breathing, the way she walked, her gaze, her calmness, her earing…i was in total shock…no autistic child reacts like this. I spoke with dr zamfir wife for instructions in how to her my daughter but was left very dissapointed with her methods but one thing…one key word that kept ringing my mind was: motivation. I used her motivation to teach her to point in literally 3 days, i started a diary to keep track of how thing were progressing and her memory was nothing short of amazing for a 2 year old, so again i questioned the same diagnostic. The initial 3 weeks she had green tea were exactly like a miracle, and yes i have seen a few in my life time as a nurse. The stimms reduced every single day and bu the very last day of 3 weeks of ltheanine she had fully eye contact and name response was incredible, so fast and acurate because intially she would look for the sound. That very last day i felt i cracked the puzzle, its all in the neuro transmittors but that very same night she got covid. She had fever for a whole night and early morning. I thought she would be fine after that…i was wrong. She gotten worse almost all reverted but she never forgot her new learned skills (new words and pointing, feeding herself etc etc). I had read about covid and neuro inflamation and also their impact in neuro behaviour changes and they do affect the neuro transmittors massively. I knew this before i read by caring patients that suffered from covid, they lost speech, balance, ability to feed themself even long done of the symptoms. It took them exactlt 6 months to regain what they lost and they were so severe i thought it was permanent. But with children growing at a faster rate would it be quicker to surpass this?
For the past 2 months and 10 days (after being sick) im struggling bad with eye contact and name response dimished. I have done all in my power to promote healing, from reducing EMF in the house, earth grounding to all sorts of vitamins and supplements related with mithocondrial activity and cell regeneration etc etc.
My daily routine is simple: i wait for her to wake up and assess her response to sound, i give her breakfast and watch her eat and speak to her around what she is doing, i take her out everyday at least one a day but most of the time 2x a day. I do all sorts of physical activities. I trully but trully believe that the symptoms they show is a way to communicate their needs, for example my daughter used to spin around alot (vestibular sensory) so i enroled in a webinar and they spoke that they treated children with a rotating chair, so i began to spin with her. I initially she wouldnt get dizzy at all even tho i could stand up properly she did, and she used to keep her eyes wide open and something look from the corner of her eye. After i did this for a couple of weeks it went away and she now feels dizzy and refuses to open her eyes. She used to keep her head up side down many times and i didnt understand, but maybe just maybe…its a way for them to increase blood flow in the brain? VA children have a atrofied frontal lobe which jnvolves diminished blood supply there and also the blood vessels are smaller due to little use. So i spend alot of time in a day doing back flip, front flips, jumping, literally doing crazy stuff, this makes her laught like crazy and she seems to improve.
My problem is that even to i had her in this world for 3 weeks it was short lived and i feel now i have lost time and caused damaged by her getting sick. Im terrified im not on time for her to recover and i want to spend my daughter time and live and feel the world the way its meant to be lived.
I dont particularly believe in therapies per say because they are based in old studies and they dont apply fully to this new disorder. I feel no one understands me even tho i have spoken to neurologists and pediatricians. All and i mean all i spoken disregard screens as a form of inducing autistic behaviour and to me it makes perfect sense based on science.
Her speech is very delayed. She can prounouce more then 100 words but uses non to communicate, she only uses non verbal to communicate if hungry or want to go out etc etc.
I dont believe in 1 year or 2 year recoveries…it should happen much faster. Even if epigenes are expressed, a simple removal off the cause should trigger recovery fast, especially in younger children. But i have dedicated myself for these past 4 months solly to her and even tho i fix one issue another rises…
It would make perfect sense that if she was normal at the end of those 3 weeks she would reach it quicker but…2 months later i got nothing…were i used to see daily recovery, now there is nothing…sometimes stable sometimes worse…
I feel totally lost, the sadness is like nothing i have ever felt, considering that im a nurse and by nature i look to help and cure and in this case i feel i cant help my own child…

Robin

Hello Marco,

Firstly I would like to say that I am not a doctor but a mother who has been through this with her own son, and a mother who has been a friend and guide to many other parents and children on this same journey.

I am so sorry to hear of your grief right now. I, and all the other parents here, also experienced varying degrees and forms of grief on this journey with our kids. It does come to pass.

It is very common for children doing the screen removal + high social interaction protocol to have periods of pronounced improvement followed by what seem like stalls or plateaus in gaining skills and stopping symptoms. However, these are not truly stalls, but periods of rest in-between intense bouts of improvement where the child’s brain is commiting all their new skills into permanency in the brain. It might seem like nothing new is happening on the outside, but inside much is happening during these stalls. Illness and stress also cause what look like stalls in improvement and even temporary regressions (think, restarting stimming behavior that was previously diminished.)

I have never seen a recovery happen in less time than the duration of screen viewing. The damage did not happen in just a few months and it cannot be repaired in just a few months. I say this to you as a message of hope. Do not fret because your daughter is not done improving yet , you are still at the beginning. While there may be physical abnormalities in the childrens’ brains, I do not think that this can be an instant fix. What you are hoping for is more like when a patient presents with psychosis and erratic behavior and it is discovered they have a brain tumor. The tumor is removed and the patient’s behavior goes back to normal. I do not believe there is an instant physical fix for the brain like that for screen induced symptoms, but a prolonged solution. I believe it is more like the shrinking of the enlarged amygdala in patients with PTSD. With many weeks of mindfulness, therapy, and conscious thought and behavior changes on the part of the patient, the amygdala does shrink and the flight or fight response in patients can return to normal. I believe we can bring about brain changes in our children over time by helping them change their behavior (removing screens, proving high quality social interaction and sensory activities) we can be their therapists and counselors. These autistic like symptoms and brain changes are very much a product of conditioning and environment, not unlike PTSD in this way. You can remove the patient with PTSD from the danger, but you cannot undo the brain adaptations that developed from the exposure to danger as instantly. It takes months of concentrated effort to rewire the brain back to it’s normal state. Positive behavior begets brain changes and in turn the brain changes beget more positive behavior. It is a feedback loop of healing. It is the same for our children. We can remove them from the screens instantly, but we cannot expect their brains to bounce back instantly. It requires much effort but it is doable!

I hope this gives you some hope, Marco. And I hope I spoke to the science side for you. I’ve seen many children recover now from this, but all have taken at the very least 9 months, with more very small fine tuning needed for a period after. Write as often as you need,
Robin

Marco

Hi robin. Many thanks for your reply i reallu appreciated. I understand all you are saying and although makes perfect sense, to me i think due being children and growing at a much faster rate (plus the brain making trillions of neural connections in a day) this recovery should happen much faster. You are right in saying the damage was caused took long, but recovery if done correctly should cut that time in half. One main issue i think most are missing is the fact that neuro transmittors are completely all over the place (depleted), this will cause massive delay and neuro behavioural issues. So in order to promote those healing behaviours, the brain should be in good health in order for that to happen. I dont have much experiencie in this of course but thats what i trully believe considering all the researchs and books i have read. Maybe coincidence but when i started looking into promoting neuro transmittors the results came fast and stable. She got sick and now im so back thats is making me so depressed beyond belief.
I also take comfort in what you say regardless of agreeing or not and i also hope your right even tho i think differently 😞. I just wish more was done in regards of these issues but something tells me its not being enough spoken because politics are involved…
My daughter is nearly 4 months screen free and im still fighting everyday like a mad man 😞
Thank you

Robin

The plasticity of very young children’s brains that you’re referring to is exactly why this protocol works for children under the age of 5. So you are right, in a way. But recovery cannot be instant. These children have to go through the process of learning the skills they didn’t learn as babies while they were in front of the TV. They were not crawling and building vestibular sensory input memory, they were not exploring their toys, mouthing things, listening to their parents language, they were not gazing into their mother’s faces…. These are things babies and young children need to learn things like eye contact, language, how to properly handle and process sensory input, emotional regulation, etc. Babies do not come knowing these things. It takes months of exposure to our world for them to learn to be in it. This is what we are doing for our kids with the screen removal + high socialization protocol. We are giving them the experiences they missed out on that they need to acclimate to our world while their brains still have a high level of neuroplasticity. A baby unaffected by screens takes months to learn to walk, to talk, to learn to smile. So why would it be instantaneous for your daughter to not only overcome her incorrect brain adaptations from too much screen exposure, but then to also learn many new missed skills? It would not be, it is not possible. It is only possible with time and consistency. A smile or eye contact, following a back and forth conversation, abilities like these FEEL like we are born with them to us, for we have decades of forged neural pathways behind the skills. It is automatic for us now, so we might think it should be automatic for everyone. But we were once babies with none of those skills. They had to be learned and practiced many many times to form the neural pathways for the actions. Your daughter needs more practice, is all. She needs more opportunities to forge and strengthen neural pathways that she did not get the opportunity to form when she was a baby in front of screens for over half her waking hours and over half of her short life.

Lori Frome has a video explaining more in depth the mechanisms behind why young children and babies’ brains are so powerfully affected by screens. I think you would enjoy it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sKQgreRf10

I hope that you will give it one year. One year is going to pass regardless of if you continue the protocol or not. But this year you have now is very valuable because of the neuro plasticity of toddlers. You are on the right track about that. You can’t get these years back once they’ve passed.

Seek support here often,
Robin

Marco

Hi robin thanks for you reply. Yes im refering to neuroplasticity yes. The reason why it should or it could be fast is based on 1- cognitive skills (if they have it) and 2 – brain health (meaning neuro transmittors, mithocondrial activity, neurons, synapctic prunning ability, etc) and 3 – the size of the damage. There are of course many factors but majority should recover quickly. You have seen cases were althought therapy is proven thats is the rock of their recovery but how many have nearly 2 years of therapy and can still barely talk? Whats happened in those cases? I think the brain is simply not prepared…so what are we missing? I have more questions then answers but still we need to consider everything. Why there are children that recovered totally in a month or even 3 months? Some 6 and some after 4 years?
I know i cant get those years back so i have to focus and making up for that lost time. But its very difficult when eveything becomes a blur due to these issues…its not enjoyable at all its more of a calculated task…
Has you have said the brain is such a powerfull organ and we have not even unlock 2% of it…so how can we say it cannot recover? We might just not know yet…
I have so many questions but havent found anyone to ask them or even discuss…because majority are not open minded and are stuck to hold literature when the times now have changed so much…
We have polution at rates never before, food, water, emfs, social media, air…a1 milk for example not spoken enough. ..you name it and its poluted. So although screens are culprit we still have alot of other factors contribuiting for these issues…so recovery may also depend of how well we live…
I wish there was more done about this…i felt i was so close…for 3 weeks she was normal, my anxiety disapeared i was so happy but after covid almost all regressed…covid has a massive impact in the brain development…so again “polution”…
Maybe if some of these factors were under controled maybe recovery would be quicker

Robin

My child is well now, Marco. And the children of many other parents who have undergone this protocol. Maybe there are other variables, but the screens and the loving interactions are the biggest ones we can actually control ourselves. I hope to hear more from you in the future.

Your friend,
Robin

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